Chapter One

I lay in the comforting darkness of the cottage and counted the gaps between the lightening and thunder like we used to do when we were kids.

One thousand and one. One thousand and two. One thousand and three. Bang!

The storm was getting closer and for the first time in two days I wished I wasn't alone.

But I wasn't alone. Not really. I had my thoughts to keep me company. Comforting, accepting, blaming and malevolent thoughts. I wallowed in my own self-absorption and wondered whether coming to the cottage on my own had been the right thing to do.

Another flash of lightening splashed the room with white. One thousand and one. One thousand and two. One thousand and three... this time I counted to seven. The storm was moving away. As the lightening faded and the thunder became muffled, the rain slowed to a gentle patter against the thick foliage of the garden outside the window. Soon I drifted off to sleep, comforted by the familiar sound of the rain. I remembered back to when we came here as children on family holidays, and every night we would fall asleep to the sound of rain. That thought made me feel protected, far from danger and safe from harm somehow, as though I was in an alternate world.

I woke a few hours later. The rain had stopped and the air was damp and heavy with the musty smell of wet vegetation. I got out of bed and walked to the front door where I stood on the porch and listened to the calm silence, noticing by its very absence the rare lack of a breeze. I breathed in the cool air and looked to the sky. A shooting star caught my eye and took my mind back to the beginning, to that fated family holiday fifteen years ago when it all started; when the train that would lead me here was set in motion.